William Shakespeare

My Dear Friend Will You Never Marry? - Sonnet I

Farmers and rearers of livestock will have to agree with Shakespeare on this.


1.From fairest creatures we desire increase,
That thereby beauty's rose might never die,

2.But as the riper should by time decease,
His tender heir might bear his memory:

3.But thou contracted to thine own bright eyes,
Feed'st thy light's flame with self-substantial fuel,

4.Making a famine where abundance lies,
Thy self thy foe, to thy sweet self too cruel:

5.Thou that art now the world's fresh ornament,
And only herald to the gaudy spring,

6.Within thine own bud buriest thy content,
And tender churl mak'st waste in niggarding:

7.Pity the world, or else this glutton be,
To eat the world's due, by the grave and thee.

Narcissus, admiring and loving himself

Farmers and rearers of livestock will have to agree with Shakespeare on this. To keep the best genes in the mooing family, make sure only the best bull crosses with the best cow, and keep it that way please, thank you.

1. Dog keepers always fascinate me when they bring out the book that contains the family tree of their best dogs: Gina begot Bowwow, Bowwow begot Whoofwhoof, Whoofwhoof begot more money for us ....

2. Family oriented and cultured mothers and fathers are very keen on seeing their sons marry, especially their first. So that when they die, their son will carry on the family's name, their legacy and their memory. No matter what our modern ideas and personal circumstances, let's face it, it's only natural for your parents to bug you into settling down in marriage and expressing sorrow when you don't. Deal with it! ha ha ha.

3/4. But it seems this fellow, to whom the poem is directed is Mr. Narcissus, that infamous fellow who loved his own face to vanity's astonishment. Imagine you are a farmer and your favourite mango tree (yes mango grows on trees) refuses to bear fruit because it is content with caring for itself only - in fact, it is ashamed of fruits dangling from its branches - doesn't look good you know. This sadly reminds me of some friends who are ashamed of getting pregnant because the growing baby messes up their fashion, before, during and after pregnancy. Maybe there is a Lady Narcissus too.

Because the tree has great potential of producing plenty (abundance), it causes the potency never to be realized which is a self-induced famine, not a good thing you must agree. The farmer won't be happy at all and the tree will die in congealed misery. Self foe!  Now remember, not all confirmed bachelors and spinsters are single for a vain foolish reason, some are religious and so forth, and that's good.

5/6. Alright Mr. Fine Smooth Youth and Miss. Shiny Doll, time's up. Starting from today you will no longer be young. Ouch! It's amazing how  we think we will be the world's youngest forever - hence the extreme tattoos, multiple piercings and body deformations and mad adventures.

This fellow here like a strange rose, refuses to bud forth. You and I are quite eager to see a flower come out, imagine you spent lots of ducats on an expensive rose plant and you waited forever for this thing to bud - o dear, I want my money back! Or rather, one morning you overheard your rose musing thus: I will stay in here, I will not expose my beauty and scent to be lost.

(This reminds me of that egg that was put in the fridge for preservation, it was left for too long and it rotted away). The owner would, I think, change his mind from returning the flower, and personally cut it down to bits.

7. Now comes the strong conclusion. The world needs you two, dear Mr. Narssisuc and Lady Narcissus. Pity the world, as your more lovely parents did, in producing such fine children as you. Please!

Okay, you want to be stiff eh? Well, go and die, for die you will. You steal from the world by not giving it its due and you murder and steal from  yourself too by not giving yourself your due. You've chosen the grave, go for it!


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